Trouble Breathing
by Lady in the Blue Dress
Summary: He's depressed and wants her. She gives up everything for him, supposedly. Song by Alkaline Trio helps guide the story. Not the happiest of endings, and mild language.


Disclaimer: Characters belong to J.K Rowling.

'Trouble Breathing' written and sung by Alkaline Trio

He sat on the edge of the Astronomy Tower. He stared at the stars, and as he looked up at the sky he realized how much he truly hated the world. The world was cruel to this boy, even though was rarely alone he was always lonely. 'What's left for me? They took everything, even my Hermione. I can't believe that she would ever pick him over me.'

_You told me that you want to die_

_I said I've been there myself more than a few times_

_And I go back every once in a while_

_You called me lucky, you…you called me lucky_

She stood behind him. She wanted so much to reach out and help him, but she didn't know how. She didn't know if it was even possible. He had been miserable for months, and stood by him as long as she could. Slowly and quietly she walked up behind him and place her hand on his shoulder. He jumped slightly, but relaxed the second he saw it was her.

"I don't want to be here anymore, Mione. I can't deal with it anymore. It's just so fucking pointless, what is there worth fighting for?"

"Yeah, I know that feeling, I've been there many times before. It's a vicious cycle of bullshit. But we can make it through, I've got you and you've got me."

The look he gave her said every thing, but just to make sure she was able to see his anguish he told her what he was thinking, "I can't believe you just said that! You know that's a blatant lie. The only reason you're here at this moment is because what you did is eating away at you!" He stood to face her. His face flushed with anger and his eyes bloodshot from fatigue, "You would let me die if it suited you and that twat! Don't come up here and feed me this bullshit in order to boost your self-esteem. You're not me right now, lucky you! I'm happy for you. Fuck you." He pushed past her and ran down the stairs. Hermione fell to her knees and began to sob.

_You said tonight is a wonderful night to die_

_I asked you how you could tell_

_You told me to look at the sky Look at all those stars_

_Look at how goddamn ugly those stars are_

She was looking at the sky and waiting. Waiting for him, she was hoping he would show up. And at quarter past twelve he did.

"So I'm guessing you want to talk about last night?"

She shook her head, "I just want to sit here with you. Just you and me. Ya know like we used too." The look on her face was sincere. He walked over and hugged her.

"You know tonight would be a wonderful night to die. To remember us just like this, I could hold you forever, and never let you go."

"Don't talk like that. You can have me in your arms forever, without death. I told him off this morning. After last night I realized that you are the one I want."

He had a smile on his face; it was sort of a distant distorted smile. He continued to hold her and gaze at the stars. After what seemed like an eternity to Hermione, he spoke, "Look at the stars."

"I know aren't the beautiful?"

He looked her in the eyes, "I was actually thinking about how ugly they were." She gave him a questioning look, but instead of she just laid her head on his chest and sighed. She would never have him back fully; he too was too far-gone. They fell asleep on a pile of hay. Hermione asleep on his chest, and him holding onto her for dear life.

_It's one or another_

_Between a rope and a bottle_

_I can tell your having trouble breathing_

He shook her gently, not wanting to wake his sleeping beauty. However, he didn't want to feel her wrath if she was late for class. A name escaped her lips. It wasn't his. She pretended he hadn't heard. "Mione, time to get up. You have an hour before class. You have to get up."

…

He didn't go to the tower tonight. He was still bitter over this morning. Maybe, it was habit. But if she truly loved him she would have been able to break that habit wouldn't she. He didn't care either way. He headed to the Leaky Caldron, just so he could get some piece of mind, so he could go get drunk. It was always this way: sit and mope or drown his sorrows away.

_'Cause you'll never be okay_

_You'll never be okay_

_(You'll always be in pain)_

_You'll always feel this way_

_'Cause things they never work out right_

_(The wrong way, the lonely way)_

_You'll always be in pain_

When he got back he went straight to the Great Hall. It was a little after seven in the morning and he was hungry. Slowly, he swaggered in and plopped himself right down next to Hermione. He put his arm around her and gave her a sloppy, wet kiss on the cheek. She was horrified. 'What is he doing? Oh my, how embarrassing!' The entire Gryffindor table, not to mention the rest of the school, was staring at them.

"What are you doing?" She took one whiff of him and realized he was piss ass drunk. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him out of the Great Hall.

"How dare you!" Her eyes were in flames. "You just made the biggest fool of yourself and me! You just embarrassed your entire house, which I'm sure, will kick your ass for. How could you do this? You keep fucking yourself over. This is why you are depressed, because every time you get something good you wind up fucking it up. Royally, might I add?" She never saw it coming. In one quick second he slapped her.

"Filthy mud blood." And he walked away.

_You told me that the daylight burned you_

_And that the sunrise was enough to kill you_

_I said maybe you're a vampire_

_You said it's quite possible I fell truly dead inside_

She walked into the bathroom to find him head in toilet. She was sure he was in pain, and though he deserved everything he was feeling, she felt bad. He lifted his and started to speak but was interrupted by a stream of vomit. She knelt down next to him and began rubbing his back.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean any of-" his head was immediately back in the white porcelain bowl. She took out her wand and healed him. She stood, walked to the sink, and wet a rag. She then washed the vomit off his face. (A/N: thanks love right there!) "Thank you."

"How do you feel?"

"Dead."

She laughed, "I think we should get you to bed. You're paler than Dracula."

They slowly walked back towards the prefect common room. She put him to sleep on the couch, seeing he couldn't make it up the stairs.

'Cause you'll never be okay You'll never be okay 

_(You'll always be in pain)_

_You'll always feel this way_

_'Cause things they never work out right_

_(the wrong way, the lonely way)_

_You'll always be in pain_

He woke with a headache that a bottle of aspirin couldn't help. Well, maybe it could, if it was chased with a bottle of vodka. He took his time standing up, afraid he might fall down. The entire time all he could think of was Hermione. He had to find her. It took him a while to realize where he actually was. About a good ten minutes later he was able to steady himself and go look for Hermione.

First things first though, he went to change his vomit scented clothes. After that was done the search began. He was really surprise that her didn't find her in the library, after all that was her sanctuary. After that he check the Great hall, the Prefect bathroom, and some empty classrooms. Then he had a stroke of genius, "The tower!"

_Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out._

He ran up the stairs, as fast as he could without getting dizzy. She was so excited that she wanted to be with him, she gave him this sort of hope. He burst through the door, "Hermione, I lov-".

He stopped short. Was he seeing things? "How could you?"

Hermione pulled away from Draco. "Harry, what are you doing here?"

_Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out_

Harry stared at the two before him. He never felt so betrayed, or alone, in his life. He pulled out his wand with out thinking, "Adava Kedavra."

Draco lay on the floor lifeless.

"You killed him."

"No shit Sherlock." Harry's eyes were glowing.

"Harry, calm down. You don't even know what happened."

"And I really don't care. Adava Kedavra."

_Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out._

……

Dear Reader,

I apologize for any confusion during the story. It really was hard to write it with Harry as a pronoun, but I kind of wanted it in suspense. In all reality, I didn't know if I wanted it to be Harry or Draco. I hope you enjoyed. I would appreciate a review and if you so choose a flame. Thank you.

Jenn


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